Other People

I live with another person.  Dealing with this person on a daily basis confuses me with regard to my depressive thoughts.  First, it is hard to know when to talk about it.  He tells me he wants to know when I feel bad.  But when I do, I do not think he wants to hear that I am not doing well.

Second, when you are working hard to keep your thoughts in the present, which is a useful anti-depression technique, the fact that non-depressives have the freedom to have more wide-ranging thoughts makes it hard to relate to such persons.  They want to talk, and you are in the process of trying to control your thoughts.  They think you are not communicating, and that causes a problem in your relationship.

My husband recently went on a business trip, and during the time he was gone, I felt I could relax.  I know that being around other people is good for me and helps me not to isolate myself, but it does have a downside.  I feel a bit like I am an alien who looks and acts like a human.

Other people are really much happier when I act upbeat, no matter how I actually feel.  I do not know exactly how to deal with this dilemma, other than by working a program that is good for me and by hoping that other people will learn to accept it.