An Anxiety Version of Groundhog Day
“Anxiety in Action” by G. Dumas
Every morning I wake up and feel seriously anxious. I take my anti-anxiety drug to calm myself enough to begin the day. Now I have a choice to either get upset by looking at the news on my phone or do anti-anxiety exercises. You can guess what my go-to place is…the news on the phone. After I have diminished the positive effects of my anti-anxiety medicine I then try to make sense of why I am anxious. There is always something or someone to blame. Now it is time to become mad and irritated so the day can properly begin. Naturally angry days do not work out too well. When I come home I am totally exhausted from being angry all day.
The next day it starts all over again. Each morning I forget that I have woken up every morning for 40 years feeling exactly the same. I seem to have a memory block to that reality. That is my “Groundhog Moment”.
During a recent doctor visit I was recounting how I was feeling, the doctor reminded me that since I suffer from severe anxiety it is normal that I should wake up every morning feeling anxious. Next, he suggested that instead of doing things that make me feel more anxious, I need to develop a routine of actions that make me calmer. I was told that it was essential at this important juncture in the day to not ask why I feel anxious. Instead, I need to say out loud “I am a severely anxious person and suffer from a mental illness” and my anxiety is not caused by other people, places and things. Also, as a result of this illness I have to do certain things to calm myself down everyday. The first thing item on the list is deep breathing. Then I should go through my body by tightening each part and then loosening it. After that’s done, my body which was racked with anxiety, he will be calmer. From there I can start the process of managing my day so it works.
First thing, is not to blame anybody else for how I feel. I have an illness. This is my problem not someone else’s. Next, I should do things that calm me down like taking a hot bath. Listening to a book or music. Next, be sure there is at least one activity during the day where I am giving myself space to be introspective, a quiet half hour. Consciously I need to try to live each moment. Stay in the present. Finally, the most importantly thing to do is a mediation about having “Self-Compassion” regarding how hard it is to live with this disease. Happy Holidays.