Anxiety and Success

Anxiety cheats me out the pleasure of success.  It feels like success does not exist, and there are just levels of failure.

This weekend went very well but Sunday night I felt like crawling into a hole.  I have always thought the best place to be in, was in a place that was not too good and not too much bad.  However, life sometimes just takes you to successful moments.

Anxiety is such a difficult disease to deal with…I am never sure what to do.  My response last night was to say out loud I am in the “Success Anxiety” zone and any thoughts I am having are junk thoughts that need to be deleted.  I then took a hot bath and turned on an audible book to keeping my brain busy and went to sleep.  This morning I am still disconcerted, so I did the loving kindness meditation.  First, you think of each person in your life that you are worried about.  Next, you think about throwing an arrow full of love and kindness to them and finally, you throw the arrow of love and kindness to yourself. This meditation grounded me.  Then it is back to the audible book and drawing.  The other choice is to start ruminating about all the possible things that are currently available to worry about.  Right now there are quite a few…so I go down that path at my own peril.