Becoming your own Loving Parent

Depression and Anxiety often first reveal themselves to children who live in highly dysfunctional homes.  I did not learn to be an adult and a loving parent to myself because I missed my teenage and early adult years trying to be my father’s parent.  He suffered from depression and anxiety and self medicated himself with alcohol and drugs.  The whole experience of being his watcher was so disturbing that I qualify as having Post Traumatic Syndrome.  Hard to learn how to be an adult as a teenager when your busy being traumatized by one of the adults in your life.  As my parents failed to teach me how to do it, I need to investigate what is means to become my own loving parent.

How is that done?  First, a good parent would tell me to stay in the moment, be mindful.  Meditation is a tool that helps teach me to be mindful and can help me get in touch with a Higher Power.  My Higher Power can become my teacher as I move forward into adulthood.

Second, my good parent would tell me that if I catch myself having irrational thoughts I should do the cognitive circle.

Third, my good parent would tell me to be clear about what I am doing during the day.  Vagueness is dangerous.

Fourth. my good parent would tell me to be honest with myself and others.  Honesty is particularly important around matters where there is a history of not taking adult like responsibility.  In my, case that would be around money.

Finally, my good parent would suggest I get a two or three word mantra which I can say when I start feeling crazy about any of the above.  Ex. “Easy does it.” “Let go and let God.”   There must be other things that a good parent would suggest but we will stick with these for now.