Here I Go Again

I have hidden this blog in the biosphere, not using my real name.  If you did not know about it from me, you would never find it.  However, I am thinking about going public with the blog and making an ebook of what I have so far.   I have even hired a company to give the blog more exposure.  I have not been using my real name to allow me to say whatever I think and not get googled.

This is a perfect example of where my dual personality comes into play.  My depressed self is totally freaked.  I do not like to answer the phone or use the mails, so why would I put my true self out on the Internet.  I have been in 12 step group where people put out their feelings but it is …  Maybe I can use my first name and first initial to protect the art and keep my identity private.  I think that I have to respect that I am depressed and putting out my full identity would make it hard to really talk honestly about my feelings.  I would always think that people were judging me or worse relying on what I said.  When my identity is private I feel freer.  People can take what they want and leave the rest.

The reason I say I have been here before is that being fully public in the past with my art has hurt it’s quality.  When I am publicly identified as the artist of a piece which I have done in other venues my next painting or drawings are not as free wheeling as when the art was private.  I have decided as I write this that I am going to keep the internet address with my other name but put in a paragraph about my true self on the blog for people who actually read the blog.  I am also only going to use this blog to put my art out publicly for the time being.  So that is settled, I feel better.