A Hard Hitting Anxiety Attack

Full throttle anxiety attacks are frightening because of the mental and physical feelings that burst forth. Yesterday morning I called my son and then texted him about my granddaughter’s medical condition but got no return response.  Since he has always returned my calls, I went into a full panic attack.  Medical problems, where I do not get a quick response, are a trigger for me to get an anxiety attack or in this case go into extreme fear.  Because I was worried that she was failing, I got more anxious as the day progressed. Finally, as my anxiety had begone to go into full throttle, he called, said his phone was not working and as I feared my granddaughter was not doing well.  Getting an answer whether good or bad usually calms me down.  Unfortunately, the beast had begon its dirty work and it was going to played itself out.

When this happens my first instinct is to go to a physical place that is hidden.  I am not sure what I am trying to accomplish but the reality is that it comforts me.  Comforting myself is the beginning of my way out.  I was so distraught I was thinking of going to a hotel.  I didn’t but instead went out to my art studio in the backyard and watched Jane Austin films.  Why Jane Austin comforts me is a bit of a mystery but it does work.  My kind husband, who has seen me in this state all to often, brought my dinner out, just like room service.  About 11 PM the attack was waning, I was able to pull myself together and come back to house and sleep in my own bed.  The next day I talked to my doctor and he told me I was going through extreme fear.  I am not clear how fear and anxiety intersect.  I suspect it is when there is a real thing to be anxious and fearful about. Frankly, I find the whole thing confusing.  Time to watch Cary a Grant/ Alfred Hitchcock movie.