“Brain Fever”

I recently did some psychological work on an old medical trauma.  Since this was the medical trauma that threw me into my current 29 year old case of “brain fever” aka depression/anxiety, my question was – now that the trauma was not so much a part of my underlying thoughts – was this going to effect my “brain fever”?  As of this moment it seems that my trauma and my brain fever are separate health problems.  It is like a bad back that causes nerve pain in a leg.  Those nerves are often permanently damaged while the back gets fixed through an operation.

In this blog I feel like I keep talking in different ways about the same thing, what can I do to convince myself to believe that “brain fever” is an illness that needs to be treated.  The problem is that “brain fever” has as one of its most prominent symptom, a false sense of low self esteem.  It is hard to get into my head for more than a short time the fact that “brain fever” is a medical disease like nerve damage, when I am constantly chanting in the background “it is my fault” “it is my fault”.