Changing Medications for Depression/Anxiety – Brave Souls
Changing depression meds is one of the toughest and most miserable medical pain (or, rather, medical system-induced pain) experiences that I have ever had. I know what I am talking about, because I have had chemotherapy, nuclear medicine treatments plus several serious operations.
However, before I go into this in more detail, I must admit that Depression/Anxiety medication has made it possible for me to have a life. I even asked to make a change in order to go on to a better drug.
Here’s the longer version of the story: I was on Serzone for a number of years, and it worked well. Then came the “liver failure” side effect scare for Serzone. Even though it was unlikely that I would have this side effect, because I was doing well on the drug, it just seemed prudent to move on to another drug. I have GI problems with a lot of drugs, so my doctor said I should try Nortriptyline, a drug that has been around for a long time. Going on that drug was hard, and I had to work less at my office for about two months as my system got used to the drug. But a few months passed, the worst side effects passed, and the drug started to work reasonably well. I have been on it for a number of years, but I thought that there might be a better drug that was not so sedating and did not make me sweat so much. Because of the Nortriptyline, I was totally wet from perspiration throughout my son’s wedding.
This spring, I had about six weeks free to make a transition, so off I went down the Viibryd garden path. I was attracted to Viibryd, because it is in the same family as Serzone, but without the liver failure side effect. At lower doses with some Nortriptyline it was fine, but as I got to a maintenance dose and the Nortriptyline was being tapered off, things got strange. I started to feel really unnerved; I could not sleep; I had nearly constant stomach upset. I started taking a little Nortriptyline and that helped the unnerved feeling, and when I started taking the new drug while I was eating dinner, the GI problems got better. However, I was still left with the sleep problem. I could fall asleep easily around 10:30, but I would wake up at 4:30 a.m. I first tried a sleeping pill, but this was not enough. Next, I tried Benadryl and a sleeping pill. I still woke up at 4:30 but was able to get back to sleep until 6 a.m. So that is how I am functioning for the moment. I have been getting 7 hours of sleep for the last few days, but I do best with 8 or 9 hours of sleep. I don’t feel great, but I can function in a low grade sort of way on seven hours. Obviously, I cannot go on with this sleep cocktail forever. Also, I am going out of the country for a month on Wednesday, and it is too late to change anything. So I will just have to hope for the best.
The net psychological impact of this experience is that I feel “less than.” I am just sitting around waiting for the side effects that are making it hard for me to operate to go away. Sleeping is so important to good mental health. However, so as not to fall into the rabbit hole of thinking “I am no good,” I decided to place around the house and in the books that I am reading pieces of paper with positive affirmations about how brave I am to try to get better from this miserable disease written on them. I will report back in July when I return about how this has all worked. Just remember that all of us who are working to get better are BRAVE SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!