Chasing The Light – Electro Shock

“Chasing the Light” by G.T. Dumas

My depression has deepened.  I have been in a very bad place for most of May and now June.  I have thought about electroshock treatment (ECT) in the past and now I am going to try it.  My dad had ECT many years ago.  He was never depressed after the treatment.  However, it did not help his anxiety.  My expectation from the ECT treatment is that the worse of the depression will lift.  However, I would be very surprised if my anxiety level changes.  The very idea of trying ECT pushes my anxiety level up but the depression is deep enough that it takes the edge off the anxiety.  I start the treatments on Monday, June 13.  While I have thought about electroshock over the years, I was always able to pull myself out of a really depressive place after a month with a change in my drug regime.  This time I am not so sure it is going to be that easy.  I will probably take some anti-depressive after the ECT.  At least that is what I was told.  In any case it is uncharted territory for me.

The idea of my brain being shocked is scary.